When People Hurt You, Do This
“Come to Me when you are hurting, and I will soothe your pain.”– Jesus Calling, October 26
When someone says something hurtful, intentional or not, you can feel it instantly in your body.
There’s a reason they call it a gut punch.
You’re hurt and confused. Then, little by little, anger starts to set in. And even though you know you shouldn’t do it, you start to plot.
Reactions Lead to Actions
Who should I talk to? Maybe a friend could pray with me. I can confide in my them and be perfectly frank about how this other person stomped on my heart with their actions and words. That’s okay, right? If I ask them to keep it confidential, that’s acceptable, right?
Honestly? It’s a slippery slope.
Before you confide your hurt to someone else, you might want to think about your motives. Are you talking to that person because you need to parse through what happened so you can resolve the tension? Or are you just trying to gossip?
Here’s how you can tell the difference: are you trying to heal the relationship with your offender, or are you trying to gain an ally who will support your side? If you’re trying to gain an ally, chances are, it’s just gossip. And gossip doesn’t help anyone.
Addressing The Hurt
When you avoid confronting the person who hurt you—and you can do that gently, by the way—you prolong the anger and brokenness in your relationship. Resentment develops, and that’s a nasty weed that’s hard to rid from your heart.
The next time someone hurts you, try a different response: take a second and pray about it.
The Role of Prayer
Take your hurts, your misunderstandings, and your anger to Jesus, and He’ll give you His wisdom, guidance, and comfort. As a confidante, there’s no human on the face of the earth who can soothe our sadness, dry our tears, or advise us on how to move forward like He can.
There’s a saying I know to be true: “Prayer changes things. But more than anything, it changes us.”
As we pray, God will soften our hearts. He can give us His perspective on the situation and even show us if we were in the wrong. He can help us forgive our offender—and even ourselves, if that’s something we need. And if we’re willing, He’ll give us the courage and wisdom to heal the relationship with that other person.
It’s a hard thing to do, but next time you feel those familiar feelings of hurt flood your heart, take a second and take your hurt to God. You might find that healing is a bit closer than you think.
About The Author
Suzanne Niles is the co-author of Fast Friends, The Amazing Power of Friendship, Fasting and Prayer, and has been a contributing author on six devotionals. She is presently the Director of Relationship Development for BroadStreet Publishing.