Jennifer Tucker: We don’t need to feel shame when we’re anxious. If we’re struggling with depression or struggling with intrusive thoughts, God loves us. His love is bigger than we can imagine. He’s inviting us to come to Him, let Him wrap us in His arms, and remind us that He’s right here with us through it all

Rebuilding After Life’s Setbacks: Jennifer Tucker & Cole Prasse – Episode #462

Narrator: Welcome to the Jesus Calling Podcast. This week, we’re joined by Jennifer Tucker, an author and illustrator. When her youngest daughter began experiencing severe panic attacks as a teenager, Jennifer found herself seeking help for her daughter, only to discover that she herself needed help for her long-ignored struggles with anxiety. Through research and the practice of using breath as prayers, Jennifer discovered powerful ways for managing anxiety while deepening her faith.

Later in the episode, we’ll hear from college-age athlete Cole Prasse, who shares how a sudden cancer diagnosis upended his baseball dreams, forcing him to fight a battle he never saw coming. Through months of treatment, unexpected setbacks, and moments of deep uncertainty, he leaned on his faith and the support of those around him to find the strength to push through his toughest season yet.

Let’s begin with Jennifer’s story.

Jennifer Tucker: Hi, I’m Jennifer Tucker. I am an author and illustrator. I also do a bit of graphic design, and I have a lovely family. I have two girls, Emma and Lily. Emma is married with a baby, so I’m a grandmother as well. That’s where I am. 

A Child’s Struggle Reveals a Mother’s Similar Challenges

About six years ago, my youngest daughter—when she was about thirteen—began having really severe panic attacks and a lot of really difficult physical symptoms to the point that she was unable to go into the school building anymore, unable to continue with her regular, everyday life.

In our area, there are not a lot of resources for teenagers who are struggling with mental health.

I had a friend of a friend who was a therapist that I reached out to to begin with like, “Where do we even start?” Because I had no type of foundational knowledge in any of it. The doctors, and later on therapists and psychiatrists, diagnosed her with generalized anxiety disorder.

During that process of trying to walk her through this very difficult journey, I really had to get honest with my own struggles with anxiety, because for a long time I just kind of ignored and pushed down my own symptoms of anxiety. In order to help my daughter walk through and get better, I had to get better.

Narratives on Anxiety and Faith

Growing up in the church, in the specific faith tradition that I grew up in, my interpretation was that anxiety was a sin because the Bible tells you, “Do not be anxious about anything, do not worry, [Philippians 4:4-7]” and all the hundreds of times it tells us, “Do not fear, do not be afraid,” and that was really pounded into me. I did not know how to reconcile my own feelings of anxiety with what I thought I was supposed to be [in order to] to be a good Christian. I must not have enough faith, I must not be praying enough or the right way. My personal anxiety was really enveloped in a lot of shame and a lot of just pushing it down. And I masked them with perfectionism, overworking, people-pleasing, and all these things that in a lot of ways were praised, because being perfect was my goal—I could check off all the boxes of being a good Christian, but inside I was struggling.

“I did not know how to reconcile my own feelings of anxiety with what I thought I was supposed to be [in order to] to be a good Christian. I must not have enough faith, I must not be praying enough or the right way. My personal anxiety was really enveloped in a lot of shame and a lot of just pushing it down, but inside I was struggling.” – Jennifer Tucker

My daughter, when she was feeling anxiety, it manifested in very physical ways. She started having panic attacks. She started having severe physical symptoms—her heart would race and she would just really have pain through her body—like all these symptoms that were more physical for her. For me, it was what you would call more high-functioning anxiety.

Breath Work for the Sympathetic Nervous Systems

We all know what it’s like to worry, to be afraid, to have that feeling of anxiousness in the pit of our stomach. That’s a normal part of the human experience. None of us are immune to feeling some anxiety at some point in our life. It’s actually part of the way God made us—we have sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems in our body, and the job of those nervous systems is to keep us safe and to protect us from threats. When our body senses some kind of threat or if it’s feeling unsafe in some way, that sympathetic nervous system kicks into gear, and in our brain, the amygdala—that emotional part of our brain—takes over the thinking part [which] shuts down, and it’s like, Okay we’ve got to act, we have to protect you. This is very helpful and very needed if you’re walking through the woods on a hike, and there’s a bear in your path. You need to be able to respond right away without really thinking rationally through it all. It’s not so helpful when [you’re] walking into a room full of people, and your amygdala is like, Oh, this is a threat, you’re not safe here, because your body is responding to what it perceives as a threat. For someone with an anxiety disorder, like my daughter, she would spiral into a panic attack just walking into the school building, because her body was telling her she’s not safe here. Her symptoms were very, very real, but it was reacting out of proportion to what the actual situation was.

During those first couple of years after she was diagnosed, it was really hard for me to find resources and help for her, and also for myself. One thing that her psychiatrist told us at the very beginning of this process was that the breath is the bridge between the brain and the body, and he really emphasized how important it was to really slow down those breaths and to breathe in deeply and slowly, and exhale slowly and fully, and how important and significant that was. It seemed so simple though, like, “Really? You’re just telling us to breathe. We already do that.” But the more I researched and the more I learned about it, there really is so much scientific evidence to show the benefit of the breath and how slowing that breathing—which usually we don’t even think about our breath, we just breathe in and out—but when you’re anxious, when you’re in that high alert state, your breathing tends to speed up, your heart rate increases, when that sympathetic nervous system is kicked in. When you can consciously slow down your breathing, you’re allowing your body to send signals to your brain that [say], “Hey, we’re not in any danger, we’re safe.

“The breath is the bridge between the brain and the body, and [my daughter’s psychiatrist] really emphasized how important it was to really slow down those breaths and to breathe in deeply and slowly, and exhale slowly and fully, and how significant that was.” – Jennifer Tucker 

As I was researching, I found this idea of breath prayer where you connect that slow, deep breathing to a very simple, short prayer from God’s Word—like a little verse—and you inhale one part of it, exhale the other part of it. I thought, Well, that’s amazing, because I had not until that point connected all this stuff with mental health, and the body’s physical health with my spiritual life and in prayer. And I was like, Well, that just kind of makes the whole full circle connection between the body, the brain, and then connecting our soul to God in prayer, and turning our mind to Him. I prayed a few of them, I even shared a little bit on my little blog back then, but I didn’t really practice them regularly.

“I found this idea of breath prayer where you connect that slow, deep breathing to a very simple, short prayer from God’s Word—like a little verse—and you inhale one part of it, exhale the other part of it.” – Jennifer Tucker

Holding On To Hope One Breath at a Time

About a year and a half after that, my daughter was admitted into the hospital for something different, but she was very, very, very sick, and I was so scared. I do not remember ever feeling that level of anxiety in my life. This was back in 2021, COVID restrictions were there, so my husband couldn’t even be at the hospital with us. 

I could feel those symptoms of anxiety just welling up so severely in me. I was having trouble catching my breath. I was crying. I had prayed every prayer I knew to pray, and I just felt this overwhelming sense of anxiety and fear, like I’ve never had before. But I laid down on that little vinyl couch, and I know it was the Holy Spirit. He reminded me of a little breath prayer that I had learned like a year and a half before based on Psalm 23: “The Lord is my Shepherd, I have all that I need.” I started just breathing in slowly and repeating those words in my head: “The Lord is my Shepherd,” exhaling slowly and repeating, “I have all that I need.” I just did that over and over and over that night, just breathing and praying those words, and reminding my soul that the Lord is my Shepherd, He loves me, He’s with me, He loves my daughter, He’s with her, we are safe. She ended up being in the hospital for about three weeks, and that’s what kept me holding on to hope and that’s what got me through.

Reframing Perspectives on Faith and Anxiety

Walking with my daughter through this, it shifted everything for me. It helped my physical symptoms of anxiety, too. I found that I had more inner peace, even though my circumstances didn’t change, nothing got easier—in a lot of ways it got a lot harder—but I was able to hold to that peace that could only come from God, because I was continuously turning my heart to Him, reminding my soul of the truth in His Word as I breathed, which helped my body with those physical symptoms. So it all worked together, and for me, it became a profoundly helpful tool to not only manage my anxiety, but at the same time deepen my faith and continue to keep me tethered to Christ and His Word.

“I was able to hold to that peace that could only come from God, because I was continuously turning my heart to Him, reminding my soul of the truth in His Word as I breathed, which helped my body with those physical symptoms. So it all worked together, and for me, it became a profoundly helpful tool to not only manage my anxiety, but at the same time deepen my faith and continue to keep me tethered to Christ and His Word.” – Jennifer Tucker

I envision God and how He approaches us, and I’m like, He’s not waiting to shoot us down because we’re anxious or afraid. He knows we’re gonna feel these things. He knows we’re gonna be anxious. He knows we’re gonna worry. He comes to us not as a harsh judge but as a loving Father. Just like I tell my daughter, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here with you. You’re not alone,” I think that’s the message that He gives us through those verses.

“I envision God and how He approaches us, and I’m like, He’s not waiting to shoot us down because we’re anxious or afraid. He knows we’re gonna feel these things. He knows we’re gonna be anxious. He knows we’re gonna worry. He comes to us not as a harsh judge but as a loving Father.” – Jennifer Tucker

Taking It One Day at a Time

Anxiety is just a signal to me now. If I’m feeling anxious, it’s just a reminder that my body’s telling me, “Slow down, stop, breathe, and pray. Turn your heart to God.” It’s not easy, it’s hard and it’s challenging, and I’m not gonna say that everything’s fixed and I’m healed, because it isn’t. It’s an intentional choice I have to make every single day to return my heart to Christ, return my mind to the truth in His Word, and really cling to that regardless of what’s happening around me because that’s where my source of hope and peace is.

“It’s an intentional choice I have to make every single day to return my heart to Christ, return my mind to the truth in His Word, and really cling to that regardless of what’s happening around me because that’s where my source of hope and peace is.” – Jennifer Tucker

For years, I’ve loved Sarah Young and her Jesus Calling books. In fact, when my girls were younger in elementary school, we did one of her kids’ devotions as a family, like every night we would read one of them and pray together. I think devotionals can be very helpful in grounding us and setting us up for prayer time. They’re a way to remind us of the truth of God’s Word, the truth of what He’s told us. It’s so easy to be overwhelmed with all the worries and fears and anxieties of the day and all the to-do lists and all the things that we have—the stress surrounding us. I think devotionals like what Sarah Young offers are very helpful with turning our minds back to the truth of God’s Word, back to Him, who is the source of our peace, regardless of what’s happening around us. 

I’ll be reading an excerpt from Jesus Listens, January 5th:

Sovereign God, 

Help me to make friends with the problems in my life. Many things seem wrong to me, but I need to remember that You’re in control of everything. Your Word assures me that all things work together and are fitting into a plan for good for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose. I can access this magnificent promise through trusting You. 

I’ve discovered that the best way to make friends with my troubles is to thank You for them. This counterintuitive act opens my mind to the possibility of blessings emerging from my difficulties. Moreover, when I bring You my prayers with thanksgiving, my anxiety diminishes and Your Peace that transcends all understanding guards my heart and my mind. 

In Your wonderful Name, Jesus, 

Amen 

Narrator: To learn more about Jennifer Tucker, visit www.littlehousestudio.net, and be sure to check out her newest book, Present in Prayer: A Guided Invitation to Peace Through Biblical Meditation, at your favorite retailer.

Stay tuned to Cole Prasse’s story after a brief message.

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Both of these devotionals are more than books—they’re tools to strengthen your spiritual connection and provide lasting encouragement. Whether you’re gifting a loved one or treating yourself, these devotionals are perfect for celebrating the special seasons of life.

Visit FaithGateway.com today and look for Jesus Calling for Moms and an exclusive edition of Jesus Calling for Graduates.

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Our next guest is Cole Prasse. What started as a routine hospital visit for Cole became a life-altering diagnosis, challenging him in ways he never imagined. Cole opens up about the grueling reality of cancer treatment, the mental and physical toll it took, and how a long-forgotten book on his shelf became a source of strength when he needed it most.

Cole Prasse: My name is Cole Prasse. I’m twenty-one and from Spring, Texas. I am currently on my road back to collegiate baseball. Sports have been pretty much my whole life up until this last year. 

Pretty much from an early age, I’ve wanted to be somewhat of an athlete. At first, it was probably more football, and then I got to high school and I started to see that my talent was more in baseball. My dad was my first coach, and he was my first coach for I don’t even know how many years.  

In 2023, I had elbow surgery because I’m a pitcher. I had the notorious baseball Tommy John surgery. I was twelve months into the eighteen month rehab—so December 2023. The day that I was cleared to start throwing from the mound, I thought I was having a heart attack, to be honest with you, because my heart rate just would not go down and it was pretty tight. I checked myself that night into the ER, and that’s when they found the mass. It was like right in front of my heart, but it wasn’t touching it. 

Cole Faces a Battle with Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma

It was kind of abrupt, definitely the last thing I think anybody thinks about, especially in my scenario. The diagnosis was Non-Hodgkin lymphoma. We caught it pretty early at stage two, thankfully.

I did a total of eleven different types of chemotherapy. At the beginning, it was the ABVD [chemotherapy drug] one every other week for seven months straight.

I got diagnosed December twenty-seventh. I was born July twenty-seventh, and we were hopefully expecting that, Oh, it would be pretty cool to be cancer-free on my birthday. That didn’t end up coming true. 

We had to go back to do an ICE treatment, which was way more intense than the ABVD. You definitely feel the fatigue very quickly. I was definitely feeling the joint pain part of it that they tell you about, but it’s different for everybody. They were telling me I was supposed to be feeling terrible the second and third day, but for me, it was five hours later. On that second and third day, I was on the back end of it.  

It’s a very mental thing, for sure. I kind of accepted it—took me about a month maybe, so a couple treatments in—but I was very upset going through it. I think anybody would be, especially with where I was in my life. That was the first time I had not played a sport that was in season since I was born, or the last that I can remember. 

But that’s when I found the Jesus Calling book. My aunt gave it to me like eight years ago. It kind of just sat on the mantle next to everything else, and I just kind of would look at it every day. I felt like at this point in my life, Now is the best time of any to open it, and I’m so glad I did.

Showing Up for Those Who Have Cancer

The first seven months, I didn’t have to touch a hospital at all, basically. That was a little bit easier because you get to live at home, but you do have to be careful. You can’t go in crowds, and you have to make sure if you’re going to hang out with a friend, they haven’t been around sick people or they haven’t been sick.  

Definitely [being] in the hospital was a little bit tougher. There are days when you don’t leave the bed. It’s not because you don’t want to leave the bed, but it’s because you don’t know if you can get down to the end of the hallway without sitting down or throwing up or any of that. 

You definitely learn a lot about yourself and the way that you think. For me, being a pitcher, positive self-talk is a big thing for me in my game and when I’m on the mound. Being in that hospital bed alone at night on the seventieth day that you’re there, you learn a little bit about the way that you think and the way that you process things. I tried to make everything a positive thing, and I think I owe that to my parents because they never really let me see the bad side of it. 

“For me, being a pitcher, positive self-talk is a big thing for me in my game and when I’m on the mound. Being in that hospital bed alone at night on the seventieth day that you’re there, you learn a little bit about the way that you think and the way that you process things.” – Cole Prasse

And [with] my three other best friends calling me and texting me every day, that was also a very helpful thing. I wanted to be cancer free, and I surrounded myself with everybody that wanted me to be cancer free, and that made it a lot easier because they shared the same thoughts as me. The voicemails that I would get from family and extended family and friends were very beneficial. The ministry of presence goes a long way. I remember a lot of times waking up in between those seventeen naps a day, and I’d see my parents just sitting on the couch and it was enough for me to be like, Okay, I can go back to sleep. I’m going to be fine. It’s enough reassurance to let yourself know to keep going, you’re not by yourself.

“I wanted to be cancer free, and I surrounded myself with everybody that wanted me to be cancer free, and that made it a lot easier because they shared the same thoughts as me. The ministry of presence goes a long way.” – Cole Prasse

You can’t plan for this stuff. It’s about learning and moving forward and pushing through and trusting the process and trusting that your story is written. So, you can be mad at the story that you’ve written, or you can make the most of the story. 

“You can’t plan for things like cancer. It’s about learning and moving forward and pushing through and trusting the process and trusting that your story is written. So, you can be mad at the story that you’ve written, or you can make the most of the story.” – Cole Prasse 

The “Why Me, God?” Talk

In the beginning, you have those talks with God that you apologize for. It’s just in the moment [when] I’m upset, because I was working so hard for something and my rails got changed and I kind of just sat there and asked, “Why?” And you try to wonder what positive outcome could come from this, because it’s such a negative impact on your life.

For me, there’s two sides to it. There’s the physical side—there was an eligibility rule change that happened during my treatments that I wouldn’t have been eligible for if I didn’t get diagnosed. So that now has allowed me to, if I want, to play like six or seven years of college baseball. The mental side of it was just the talks with God—they shift from the anger to the I understand, or I’m trying to understand. And then, there were times on the back end of it when I would read the devotional and I couldn’t get through it without tearing up just because I would think about the very beginning and how I was upset and how I was “doing it wrong.” Now, I feel like I’m doing it right, and so I was kind of feeling the love from God in a way.

I am considered in remission, I’m going through my immunotherapy. It’d be easy for me to hang up the cleats because my body is taking such a toll, and I know the road is going to be so hard to get back to baseball. It’s definitely a long climb up. It’s definitely being able to accept the work that you’ve put in to beat cancer is also going to have to be put towards everything else. It’s God’s plan, and the opportunities that I have now I wouldn’t have had a year ago if I didn’t get diagnosed.

I’ll be reading from Jesus Listens, the September 5th devotional:

Cherished Jesus, 

My life is a precious gift from You. So I open my hands and heart to receive this day of life gratefully.” 

On bright, joyful days, I can speak to You about the pleasures You provide. Thanking You for them makes my Joy expand exponentially! On dark, difficult days, I can grasp Your hand in trusting dependence— clinging to Your promise that You will help me. 

My physical life is an amazing gift, but my spiritual life is a treasure of infinite value. Because I belong to You, I will live with You forever— enjoying a glorified body that will never get sick or grow tired. Thank You for the priceless gift of salvation by grace through faith! 

In Your saving Name, 

Amen

Narrator: Please keep Cole in your prayers on his hard-fought journey back to health and back to baseball. 

If you’d like to hear more stories about rebuilding after setbacks, head over to the Jesus Calling YouTube channel and check out a bonus episode of the podcast featuring several of our guests talking about trusting God through fear and doubt.