God Is Near to the Broken Hearted: Lola Sheen & Levi Lusko
This episode mentions suicide and depression and may not be suitable for all listeners.
Lola Sheen: I love the verse when He says, “Remain in Me and I will remain in you.” I think when we don’t fill our mind with Him daily, all these other things will. Anxiety, stress, people’s opinions can so easily fill your mind. We’re human, so it’s normal, and God knows that.
God Is Near to the Broken Hearted: Lola Sheen & Levi Lusko – Episode #468
Narrator: Welcome to the Jesus Calling Podcast. This week, we sit down with podcaster Lola Sheen, daughter of actors Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards. Lola bravely shares her story, detailing the unique challenges of growing up under public scrutiny and its impact on her mental health. She opens up about a pivotal turning point in her life—discovering her faith and the profound difference it has made. Now, Lola is channeling her experiences into her own podcast and online platforms, passionately dedicated to supporting others who may be walking a similar path.
Later in the episode, pastor, author, and founder of Fresh Life Church, Levi Lusko, returns to the show to speak about how he hit a wall in midlife, reevaluating his identity, and learning to live within the limits of time. Levi also shares practical tools that helped him move forward—and invites us to consider the hidden gifts that can come from life’s hardest seasons.
Let’s begin with Lola.
Lola Sheen: My name is Lola Sheen. I have a faith-based podcast, and I like to share my faith on social media and help people with their faith journey as well.
When I started to struggle with mental health, I was probably ten. My parents are both famous, and I think a lot of my anxiety rooted from things about my family being out in public without my control. When I would go to school sometimes, I would find out things that I didn’t really know—or maybe just weren’t even true—so I think it created a lot of anxiety as I never really felt like I had privacy.
Seeking Escape from Anxiety
I was just always so anxious all the time growing up—I think just because of the cameras and everything. It definitely did lead to a lot of depressive feelings because sometimes it can feel a little isolating when other people—like my friends—weren’t in the same position. It definitely can lead to feelings of loneliness which is why I think I started to experience those feelings so young.
It didn’t get really bad until I was sixteen. I did definitely experiment with drinking and vaping and all of that because I started struggling so badly with feelings of depression. I never had a foundation, I never had joy that was always there. I think when I would go to alcohol or with my friends or vaping, I was trying to fulfill this feeling. You can do that in so many ways—like hanging out with friends to try to escape what you may be going through—but then you come home and it’s all right there again. I was just trying to escape, and was like, Oh, maybe this will make me feel better. But really it just ends up making you feel even worse because it’s like a God-shaped void in your heart. I was just getting further into loneliness, and I couldn’t find security anywhere.
A Life-Altering Car Crash Changes Everything
When I was seventeen, I did have a boyfriend. He was really lovely. I had never dated anybody before, and I think it was so exciting because it was something new. He came right when I started to get kind of out of the depressive state that I was in. I think I looked up to him, I sort of idolized him in our relationship without even realizing. It was like I put him as my source of happiness, peace, and comfort. And when you put all of that on one person, it’s very easy to feel really hurt because if they have a bad day or treat you differently one day, then your whole life feels like it’s kind of falling apart.
It was really fun until we got in a car accident, which was so life-altering. I had never experienced anything like that. All of the airbags went off when we crashed. I thought that I died because it was so loud, but no one had any serious injuries. My eye was a little swollen, but we were all completely, almost, untouched. No one had concussions. It was crazy.
I know they always say things like tomorrow’s not promised, and you never think it will happen to you. But when I actually experienced, Oh my gosh, my life literally almost just could have ended, I have not seen life the same since. I also not only felt traumatized, but I also had to break up with this person. Since my happiness and [the fact that] I put my everything in this person, the second they were gone, I just did not know who I was. I felt like I didn’t know what my identity was, where to find joy anymore, or where to feel safe.
Battling Depression & Searching for Security
I don’t know what happened, but the second I turned eighteen, I started to struggle so severely with depression. I had never experienced depression like this. I was like, Okay, I’ve literally tried everything. I felt like a lost cause. I truly felt like I was not going to see… like every single day I was just trying to make it to the next day. I thought that no therapist could help me anymore. I was just so scared, and I think depression can literally make you feel like you’re kind of in chains and like every day feels the same. And then [I started having] panic attacks because I was so depressed. I didn’t go outside a lot, and I started to get really paranoid of every little thing. When I would leave and drive somewhere, I would have the worst panic attack, and it was just all this anxiety.
This was in the summer and I would see all my friends going out and traveling and all happy and stuff. And I’m like, How? Why am I here? I don’t even know how I got here. What happened? I remember I did not see myself making it to nineteen, and I was like, I don’t know why, but I just don’t. I was so scared of the feelings I was feeling, and then, it started to lead to a lot of suicidal thoughts.
I just didn’t know my purpose. I didn’t [know] my worth. I believed all these other things that everybody would say about me. I never had someone be like, “No, this is the truth. This is who you are.”
“I just didn’t know my purpose. I didn’t [know] my worth. I believed all these other things that everybody would say about me. I never had someone be like, ‘No, this is the truth. This is who you are.’” – Lola Sheen
I didn’t tell anybody because what I was going through felt so hopeless. And this is the thing—my family’s always been there for me. My mom would always check in and make sure I was okay, but I felt like what I was going through no one could really fix. And so I kept it very private. I didn’t tell anyone, and I think that definitely made it worse.
An Encounter with Jesus Brings Unexpected Comfort
Towards the end of the summer, I was laying down one night and I went on TikTok and started scrolling through my For You page. I remember this night was really, really hard for me. This woman, Ally Yost—she’s a Christian influencer—a video of her came up and she was talking directly to the camera saying, “Hey, just hang on a little bit longer. God has such a beautiful plan for your life.” I remember she was crying and just talking to the cam and encouraging whoever was watching. And I remembered when she said, “God,” I was like, Wait, I’ve never thought about God. I had never thought about Jesus. He was just never in my mind.
I went to bed that night with the thought of God in my mind. The next day I remember I went back to her page and I kept scrolling and there was something different about her face that I’d never seen before. I just saw a different kind of light in her eyes and I didn’t know what that was.
I remember I was about to go to bed and all of a sudden—I had never felt the presence of God, I’d never felt the Holy Spirit before—it was like the presence of God, like Jesus just came into my room. I felt like my entire room was filled with His spirit. I had never felt it before and so I knew it was Him. Even though I didn’t feel Him before, I just knew. I didn’t see Him, but I felt Him. It felt like Jesus came and took my hand, and I can’t even explain it—my room just had this overwhelming sense of peace and safety and I knew I was going to be okay.
“I didn’t see Him, but I felt Him. It felt like Jesus came and took my hand, and I can’t even explain it—my room just had this overwhelming sense of peace and safety and I knew I was going to be okay.” – Lola Sheen
The next morning, I prayed, “Lord, I don’t know what just happened. I don’t know where, I don’t know how to start. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know that I just met You. I wanna give my life to You.” And it was just the best decision of my life.
Lola’s Awakening: Discovering God in a Dark Time
I had no idea what I was doing. I had no idea how to read the Bible. I barely knew how to pray. I didn’t know what church to go to. The thing that was so special about this time is that it was just Him and me. And I think it was meant to happen that way, because every day I would wake up and I would ask Him what to do that day. I was like, “Okay, Lord, show me what to do.” I felt Him so closely during this time. I think He knew that I needed to feel Him that much.
I bought my first Bible I think a week after I found Jesus. It was definitely intimidating, but I think I was just so excited to find out more and read more about the Lord. Jesus Calling was actually what I read before I read my Bible. I remember it was the first devotional I got that really drew me close because the Bible was really intimidating for me. I read it every single day. I wrote in it every day, and it showed me how to pray. Every single day I would read it and I fell in love with prayer and I fell in love with Sarah Young and all of the books.
It took me about a year to find my home church and my community, and up until then, it was really just me and Jesus. The thing that inspired me to start a podcast is after I found the Lord, I immediately wanted to tell everyone about Him. I wanted to tell everybody about Jesus and how He just saved my life. I always heard Him say, “You’re going to help a lot of people.” I felt such a calling on my life to just minister to people who have experienced depression and anxiety and to just help them and show them that you are never too far gone for Jesus.
“I felt such a calling on my life to just minister to people who have experienced depression and anxiety and to just help them and show them that you are never too far gone for Jesus.” – Lola Sheen
I feel like people may have been hurt by the church or hurt by people who follow Jesus. I just want to show that His heart is like a father. He just wants to be there for you and help you and to love you and to show you what real love looks like.
“I just want to show that His heart is like a father. He just wants to be there for you and help you and to love you and to show you what real love looks like.” – Lola Sheen
I would say the habit that has kept me focused on the more positive things—instead of negative things filling my mind too much—is spending so much time alone with God and letting Him fill my mind before anybody else does. I noticed in the morning is when anxiety and those depressive thoughts will come right away. So I just pray, asking the Lord every single day to renew my mind. And whenever things of this world seem too much and may seem too overwhelming—when people’s comments get too overwhelming—I love the verse in Corinthians [2 Corinthians 4:18] about fixing your eyes on the unseen and not what’s seen because what’s seen is temporary and what’s not seen is eternal. And I’m like, “Okay, when things get hard, I just have to look up and remember that I serve an audience of One.
“I would say the habit that has kept me focused on the more positive things—instead of negative things filling my mind too much—is spending so much time alone with God and letting Him fill my mind before anybody else does. When things get hard, I just have to look up and remember that I serve an audience of One.” – Lola Sheen
I’ll be reading a passage from Jesus Listens from December 26th:
Wonderful Jesus,
Your Word teaches that I am in You, and You are in me. This is such a profound mystery! You are the infinite Creator and Sustainer of the universe, and I am a finite, fallen human being.
Yet You and I live not only with each other but in each other.
I am filled with Your fullness—flooded with You Yourself! This is a deeper, richer union than I can find in any human relationship. You know everything about me, from my deepest thoughts and feelings to the events I will encounter throughout my life. Because I belong to You, feelings of aloneness are really just an illusion.
The whole earth is full of Your glorious Presence! Please strengthen my awareness of Your loving Presence as I go step by step through this day.
In Your watchful, loving Name,
Amen
Narrator: To learn more about Lola, you can hear her podcast, Heavenly Bonded, wherever you listen to podcasts.
Stay tuned to Levi Lusko’s story after a brief message.
JESUS CALLING: STORIES OF FAITH Returns for Season 4!
Hey everyone, this is Faith Broussard Cade, your host for the fourth season of Jesus Calling: Stories of Faith on UPTV. We’re so excited to bring you inspiring stories of people from all walks of life, who have turned to their faith in times of struggle, and in times of joy. We’re going to hear from some extraordinary guests this season, including Julie Chen Moonves, who you might know as the host of Big Brother. We’ll also be joined by NFL Hall of Famer Terry Bradshaw and Light Heavyweight Champion boxer Andre Ward, GRAMMY award winning gospel singer BeBe Winans, the world renowned Italian tenor Andrea Bocelli, and actress Taraji P. Henson, in addition to many others. And of course, you’ll get to hear more about me and my story, too. I can’t wait to see you there. Stay tuned for the new season coming soon on UPTV!
Our next guest is Levi Lusko. Levi is a pastor, author, and founder of Fresh Life Church. For years, he poured himself into ministry, family, and leading others. But in his late thirties, he hit a wall, wrestling with identity, burnout, and grief. That breaking point launched a journey of healing, surrender, and rediscovery.
Levi Lusko: My name is Levi Lesko, and I’ve been married to Jennie Lesko since 2004. We met and got married in Albuquerque, New Mexico. We have had five kids across the way, the journey of life. In the last twenty years, we have been able to lead and plant a church and preach around the country and world. And then, in this last decade, we have been putting books out. It’s just such a huge joy.
Hitting a Wall at Early Middle Age
I hit a pretty big wall at thirty-eight. Thirty-six is halfway to seventy-two, which globally is the average age of death. So, it’s pretty bleak if you think about it that way. My father died at seventy-two, and so, thirty-six is halfway there. At thirty-eight, I kind of realized, Okay, I could live to eighty or ninety, but likely I’m kind of on the tipping point. I’m not young anymore by any standard. And so, just feeling confused, feeling lost, I realized and grappled with the fact that a lot of my identity—right or wrong—was tied up in being a young pastor, specifically. And young was being taken from me without my consent. Now I had to grapple with middle age and the inevitability and existential crisis that comes from old age, which is impending.
For me, I said, “Hey, here is what’s going on. Here’s what I’m feeling.” And for a season, I stepped back from some of the day-to-day intensity. I was able to just take a week-long intensive and go deep into counseling four days in a row, twelve hour sessions, and really unpeel some layers of unhealed things that I just had never faced down from my childhood and the knicks and bruises we collect. In four decades, there were a few things that I’d never really opened up. They say there’s a death by a thousand paper cuts and that was kind of what I was dealing with.
It was hard and messy as I navigated that season for almost two years. But the last two years, I look back on it as a really important time—a milestone that I smile when I think about—because joy came from digging once again in the field for fresh treasure, which is what Jesus said the Kingdom of Heaven is like.
“The last two years, I look back on it as a really important time—a milestone that I smile when I think about—because joy came from digging once again in the field for fresh treasure, which is what Jesus said the Kingdom of Heaven is like.” – Levi Lusko
How Can We Rejoice When Things Are So Hard?
It’s really important for us to remember that we are in an upside-down kingdom. So everything is inverted. Want to find your life? Lose it. Want to keep your life? It is not going to be yours anymore. You want to be great? Serve. Have you ever tried to shave in a mirror with your left hand? It’s like, Why can’t I do this? In the Kingdom of God, all of our fleshly instincts serve us poorly because we’re almost always wrong initially. James 1:2-3 says, “Rejoice when you fall into various trials.” When I fall into the various trials, I’m not going to rejoice. Who does that? It’s the worst time to rejoice, right? No. In God’s Kingdom, when I’m poor in spirit or feeling some kind of way, that’s actually a chance for me to go, I’m actually, even though this is hard, I’m in a refining fire. God’s with me, right? Well, hey, it’s all great until you’re in the fire, and then you have to believe God’s near to the brokenhearted. Most people who win the lottery find it makes their life worse. Most people who survive cancer tend to report higher levels of happiness afterwards and greater levels of gratitude after cancer. Would you rather win the lottery or get cancer? It’s really something to think about. [It] turns out we’re pretty bad at predicting what actually is going to bring us joy.
“It’s really important for us to remember that we are in an upside-down kingdom. So everything is inverted. Want to find your life? Lose it. Want to keep your life? It is not going to be yours anymore. You want to be great? Serve.” – Levi Lusko
Jesus said, “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a man who found a treasure hidden in a field. For the joy of what he found, he sold all he had to buy the field to get the treasure. [Matthew 13:44] ” I always took that to be a picture of salvation, but what I realized is it’s also the repeated step needed for ongoing sanctification. I realized even though at fourteen I gave my life to Christ and gave everything I had to Him, I had accumulated some things—part of it being the praise of man and influence and opportunities and all of those things that I didn’t ask for. God chose to bless me with [these things] as I followed Him. But I needed to re-surrender those things afresh and then be willing to give it all again to Him and surrender it and not see myself as a leader or a pastor or an author or anything like that, but to just see myself as someone at a field with a treasure that I want more than I want anything that this world has to offer. And so that kind of became a rally cry for me, going all in for fresh treasure, because there’s no end to the treasure of knowing Jesus.
“That kind of became a rally cry for me, going all in for fresh treasure, because there’s no end to the treasure of knowing Jesus.” – Levi Lusko
When The Wall Might Actually Be A Door
With the person who’s in it right now—if you feel like you’ve hit a wall, you’ve gone as far as you can go—first of all, you’re not the only one. Every one of us goes through that, and it doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It might mean you’ve just gone as far as you can go with the tools you currently possess and the season of life that you’re in. And that’s not bad.
I know someone who sold a company, and he was thrilled to sell the company. He said he’s never felt so empty as the day after he sold it. Part of it is that was what he wanted to do and he knew he should do and he had succeeded, but now the season of being in that company was over. I have another friend whose daughter just became a kindergartener. He’s like, “I’ve never felt so sad. My daughter’s in kindergarten, she’s not a baby, and she’s never going to be back in our home in the same capacity.” That’s okay to mourn the ending of whatever it is that is making you feel bad. We tend to belittle our grief if it’s not worthy of making us sad. Well, all my kids are alive, and I just boo-hoo. I just sold my company for whatever million dollars, right? So he doesn’t feel like he has permission to be sad. But I would just say you don’t have to deserve to feel bad. You just do. So don’t feel bad about it. Sit down and give yourself the space to ask the question, “What am I actually feeling and why?” And then don’t numb. That’s a really important thing—the temptation will always be to numb any pain we have. Numb it with a purchase, numb it with a reckless decision. Don’t make a long-term decision based on what might turn out to be a short-term feeling. Now, I feel more vision and more drive and more genuine excitement being the pastor of Fresh Life Church as ever. But I could have, based on a feeling in a moment—a tempest in a teacup—jettisoned all that. I think a lot of people jettison marriages, careers, callings, and dreams based on how they feel right now. So give yourself permission to feel it and go deep on it.
“If you feel like you’ve hit a wall, it might mean you’ve just gone as far as you can go with the tools you currently possess and the season of life that you’re in. That’s okay to mourn the ending of whatever it is that is making you feel bad. We tend to belittle our grief if it’s not worthy of making us sad.” – Levi Lusko
You hear people talk about being grounded or grounding. I think God does want us to get grounded, to get our feet firmly under us. Some tools holistically that can help that—of course, Bible reading, meditation, prayer, fasting, and church discipline, attendance, and giving. Those are all amazing, and you would expect a pastor to say that. But I also have found that fly fishing, snowboarding, and running have been very important to me to prioritize my well-being emotionally. And then there’s also the physical side with the doctor, looking at your diet. When I was spiraling at my worst, it turns out I was taking some supplements in the gym, but they had too much caffeine in them for me. Part of my panic attacks and anxiousness and dizziness, I was causing with a pre-workout that literally said on the bottle, “May cause feelings of anxiousness.” So I’m being complicit in my own breakdown here.
In the midst of the seasons of spiraling panic attacks and anxiousness, it was incredibly important for me to hold on to God’s Word in a format that felt like I could take it in. It sounds crazy as a pastor to say it, but when my mind was racing to pick up my Bible and try and make sense of the words when my heart was racing, that was really hard. But something like a Christian devotional I could listen to, I could sit and work on my breathing—something like a Jesus Calling or anything that would be Scripture-spoken. Embracing God’s presence, to sit and breathe and focus and be still and know that He is God and center myself on a truth and then meditate and sit on that and not rush on. I’m the Bible in a year guy, three chapters a day, and sometimes that can get in the way of just being with God. Just to sit and listen and remember [that] I’m not in control. God is—He’s my helper, He’s my rock.
“I’m the Bible in a year guy, three chapters a day, and sometimes that can get in the way of just being with God. Just to sit and listen and remember [that] I’m not in control. God is—He’s my helper, He’s my rock.” – Levi Lusko
Life’s Three Lessons
Richard Rohr first postulated the idea of life through three containers. Number one is you build a container. Season number two is you have to choose what goes in the container. Phase number three of life is you have to prepare to give your container and its contents away.
I really love that module or framework because it helps you to see, Oh, maybe I’m feeling so much despair because I’m trying to make permanent what was meant to be a season. So that means I’m trying to build a bigger container, but I don’t have anything in it. I’ve got five houses, buku bucks, a big container of my business, but my life’s empty. I don’t have any rich relationships. Or, I should be preparing to give the container and its contents away, but I’m trying to act like I could just keep it forever.
“Maybe I’m feeling so much despair because I’m trying to make permanent what was meant to be a season.” – Levi Lusko
Something like seventy-two percent of Americans don’t have an up-to-date will. What is that, if not, I’m not preparing to give my contents and my container away. So ask yourself the question, “What season should you be in?” Are you trying to be Luke Skywalker—young and have a lightsaber—when really it’s time to get your Yoda skills together—to be the teacher of Jedis and have people come into you to learn your distilled wisdom. There’s a grace to that as well, so enjoy what God has for you.
The Bible says, “There’s a glory to a young man and it’s his strength. There’s a glory to an old man and it’s his gray head of wisdom. [Proverbs 20:29]” And we live in a culture that’s terrified of aging. But let me say this, from the other side of forty—and I’m sure the other side of sixty is true and eighty is true and all the rest—there’s glory in every season, not just the one you want to hang on to or the one your terrified of leaving, there’s also a glory in your new season. So, after you’ve mourned what’s behind you, let God build up excitement for what’s in front of you, because with Jesus, the best really is always yet to come.
“After you’ve mourned what’s behind you, let God build up excitement for what’s in front of you, because with Jesus, the best really is always yet to come.” – Levi Lusko
I’ll be reading an excerpt of a prayer from Sarah Young’s prayer devotional, Jesus Listens, December 9th:
Jesus, my Creator,
I’ve discovered that worry is often a result of thinking about things at the wrong time. If I think about things that trouble me while I’m lying in bed, it’s all too easy for me to start worrying. But when I monitor my thinking, I can interrupt those anxious thoughts quickly—before I find myself deep in worry.
Teach me how to discipline my mind so I can minimize worry and maximize worship. Please alert me through Your Spirit when I’m thinking about something at the wrong time—a worrisome thought at a time when I can do nothing about it. Help me to direct my thinking away from that hurtful thought and toward You, Jesus.
In Your powerful Name,
Amen
Narrator: To learn more about Levi Lusko, visit www.levilusko.com, and be sure to check out his new book, Blessed Are the Spiraling: How the Chaotic Search for Significance Can Lead to Joy Through Life’s Shifting Seasons, at your favorite retailer.
If you’d like to hear more stories about how God comes to us when we’re broken-hearted, check out our interview with Angela Braniff.
Next week: Kerstin Lindquist
Next time on the Jesus Calling Podcast, we will hear from former QVC program host, health coach, and growth strategist Kerstin Lindquist, who shares about the connection between stress and fear and what life can look like when we focus on what’s ahead of and in front of us.
Kerstin Lindquist: Part of what causes so much stress in our life is fear and it’s us being future-focused. If you remain in the present and you remain next to your Lord, you can calm the fear. But as long as you’re remaining future-focused—what’s gonna be next, how am I going to provide for my family, how am I going to get over this health hurdle—then there will be fear.
